The Early Stages of Falling in Love

sexually wild? I couldn’t keep up with her. She tricked me.” If you yourself have felt this way about your female lover, now, you know that it was her hormones that made her into a girl gone wild.

Why can love’s early stages make you feel personally endangered as well? First, the euphoria that you feel can disorganize you. You are adding a dating relationship to your normal, busy routine. Your normal responsibilities at work and home may fall to the wayside, as you put more energy into solidifying your love relationship. This can make you more anxious than normal. Also, loving asks you to lower your defenses and loosen up your personal boundaries so that you can merge your needs and desires with those of your lover. This process can be threatening and make you feel unsafe. Nonetheless, this is the making of a strong, healthy relationship. It takes time to trust each other and to know that this attachment will not hurt you. No wonder we can feel anxious and unsafe when we first fall in love. There’s much to gain and to lose, in the process. The frea you feel is palpable. Many of you may unconsciously create emotional issues and dramas to give voice, and make tangible, the endangerment that you feel.

With all of the hormone changes and fears going on inside of you, it is no wonder you may feel exhausted in the early stages of falling in love. I’ve heard several people say that they can’t wait until the honeymoon period is over so that they can get some rest. It’s no wonder that some of you may rush to seal the relationship deal, just to put an end to these uncomfortable feelings

  1. Acknowledge you are under the influence of some powerful hormones.
  2. Get the nutrition, rest and relaxation that you need to stay physically, emotionally, and mentally sound.
  3. When concerns and fears come into your mind about your lover, ask yourself if you are just trying to discharge the anxiety that you feel about the unknown, so that you can stop a personal drama in its track.
  4. Don’t rush to seal the relationship, just because you can’t stand the anxiety of having to go through the stages of falling in love. Accept your anxiety and learn to work with it.
  5. Research shows that falling in love also makes you more creative (Scientific American, Dose Falling in Love Make Us Mare Creative?). So, work out that anxiety and fear through some creative activities.
  6. Don’t lower your defenses, personal boundaries, and expectations to the extent that you are denying what you really desire and need. This never works out well. You want to build an authentic relationship attachment, rather than one based on fantasy alone.

You will handle this wonderful time much better just by knowing what I’ve shared with you today about the process. Accept the process and let love unfold in its natural way.